Social Life

Sometimes I feel like having a social life here in South Korea is like having a second job. As of late, with the students on "vegetable," as one of them told me when she caught me walking down the street last week, it seems much harder than my day-to-day job at 학교. But instead of getting paid for sitting in my classroom pretending to be busy, I am paying to get out and do things. I've had enough of hanging out alone with myself; I spent January doing this, and I am grateful for the time and the time I spent learning to listen to my inner voice, to organize and be productive with my time. If I hadn't learned that, I would not be keeping such close attention now to my day planner, and trying to write down what I am aiming to do for that day. I try to hold myself accountable, and when I look at the tasks, I am able to weigh their importance when a friend calls and wants to go for coffee. I can look at my book, "Yeah I can do that," and I scratch out whatever I'd been planning to do. This weekend I scheduled myself like a middle class mother schedules her child's extra-curricular activities, getting up in the morning and moving around Seoul via buses and subway to one appointed destination and then another. Two solid days of activities, and I've hardly seen the inside of my apartment. Now It's Monday afternoon. My arm is sore from racing around the skating rink at Lotte World. My brain is content but eager to do just a little more reading. My bag is weighted down with gifts and fliers, and a humorous Polaroid taken at the Travel Korea Expo at CO EX Mall, and my Cheeks are tired from all the talking I've been doing.

Usually talking more chore than it is a pleasure. I have to talk slow. I have to be simple and choosy about the words I say and how my voice is inflected when I say them. I have to be understandable to be understood. I met Jihye this weekend, and she asked me why is it that we 웨국인 tend to hand out mostly with other 웨국인. I honestly enjoy meeting Korean people as much as I enjoy meeting new weyguks--but when we tend to hang out together because we can let go! use big words! talk intellectually about more than,

"mm, ah...Sujshan...do..youlike...japaneesuh..fud?"

"Yes..."

"..Oh..."

With other Weyguks, I sit around and discuss books, politics, or religion. We even discuss mundane things differently, it just feels more easy, like I don't have to think about it. I can just talk. Talking with an EFL person can be like making yourself breath. It's a task you're hardwired to do, but when you're actively focusing on controlling the pace, level, and basic input-output of air, how can you focus on much else. ON the other hand, talking with a native English speaker can be like a long rest. I don't have to think about being polite but dumbing myself down because they know all the words! I don't have to worry about offending them with an odd gesture or idiom, because we're from the same culture and we all "get it!"

Going to a Meetup group with a bunch of strangers at the end of a long week is like a smoker who's recently quit relishing a stolen drag from a cigarette outside a nightclub. It's a little awkward, maybe even a little forced, but damn! What a relief to breath again!